What do you carry?

What do you carry? 

Life is a crazy journey of ups and downs, highs and lows, wrongs and rights, successes and failures. 

Without the darkness we wouldn’t have light and without the lows, the highs wouldn’t seem as high. 

I could repeat all the pinterest quotes I can think of, or read all the motivational posters hanging in my middle school gym during PE class, but what really is the truth behind it all, is that we are destined to have it all. 

We are meant for all the good things as much as we are for all the difficult struggles in our life. We want life to be easy but in reality our life fuels a much larger purpose. Acceptance of the experience we’re in is the first step to changing your reality, to true peace. 

Many embark upon the search for happiness, but the search for peace is far more important. I search for happiness and joy, pain and grief. I seek it all to come into my life because that is the human experience I am here for. I search not to be happy when I am sad, but to find a point of stillness within that allows my body to feel and release, to go through the cycle I’m meant to. To be in the spring, the winter, the fall, or summer of my life, not as I decide but as I am meant to. 

Wanting happiness in a time of pain is only to push away the experience, and in pushing it away, push it deeper down within. Not allowing myself to process my grief (be it for a loved one, a rough time of my life, an illness, or anything else) in attempt to hold a ‘positive mindset’ does nothing more than hold you to miss out on the learning, the lessons, the new opportunities that come through that pain. They cause you to push that hurt down within, not for it to go away.

The misconception that allowing yourself to feel negative emotions is a negative mindset halts your growth and guides you away from the experiences that are meant for you in this life. 

Allowing yourself to feel the pain, feel the hurt, feel the frustration, anger and anything else that comes up allows yourself to process that experience as it was meant to happen, and allows yourself to further release that pain, instead of holding it down within. 

So perhaps we all really need to think about what we carry, because often it comes from the negative feelings we never allowed ourselves to feel. Our life is in the present, and no longer will your past, or any way you lived your life in the past ever come into the now or the future unless you allow yourself to keep that with you. Take inventory, and realize that it’s okay to release it all, feel it all, and accept the experience of life we’re meant for, for all that it is. 

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